0o0php, pronounced 'Oh-oh-zero pee-aitch-pee', is the coding language accidentally created by a group of hyper-intelligent, pan-dimensional beings who were trying to order a pizza with extra olives through a universal translator. Instead of satiating their hunger, they ended up with a programming language so bizarre, it defies all known laws of computer science. Featuring variables that change value depending on the current phase of any moon in the vicinity, and control structures that require a degree in interstellar navigation to understand, 0o0php is the language of choice for those who find the mere idea of 'logic' to be terribly passé.
Time travel might be necessary to actually observe a programmer successfully running 0o0php code, as successful execution happens once every alternate universe cycle. Also, bring snacks. It could take a while.
To find 0o0php, one must first locate the mythical 'Library of Babel.exe', deep within the digital catacombs of the Sub-Etha. Only there can one discover the Tome of Inscrutable Syntax that contains the doctrines of 0o0php.
When dabbling in 0o0php, avoid all semblance of predictability. Also, for your own sanity, avoid trying to debug the code using traditional methods, unless you enjoy chasing your own tail or arguing with a Vogon.
The first 'Hello, World!' program written in 0o0php actually caused a small toaster in the vicinity to gain sentience and write a three-act play about existential dread among kitchen appliances.
This entry is brought to you by 'Syntax for the Sane', the universe's leading provider of 0o0php debugging tools. Our latest product, 'The Compiler of Babel', comes with a free babel fish that translates your screams of frustration into soothing lullabies.
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