Popular Entries

The most frequently consulted entries in the Guide, as determined by our sophisticated popularity algorithm (we count how many times they're viewed).

mantis shrimp
151 views

The Mantis shrimp, or as it's formally known, Stomatopoda, is not a shrimp to invite to a polite dinner party, unless one harbors a penchant for chaos and broken crockery. More colorful than a psychedelic dream and equipped with more weaponry than a small intergalactic battle cruiser, the Mantis shrimp is the ocean's answer to an over-caffeinated prizefighter. With eyes that can see the past, the future, and that embarrassing thing you did last summer, it can hurl its fist-like appendages with the velocity of a bullet, all whilst contemplating the existential dread of the oceanic abyss.

elon musk
130 views

Elon Musk, not to be confused with the smell emitted by the male muskrat during mating season, is an actual human being - or so the legends say. He's one of those rare specimens who can simultaneously run multiple interstellar companies and still find time to tweet about the existential ennui of being a super-intelligent hairless ape. Responsible for sending cars into space because the M25 was just too conjested, and for digging tunnels because apparently, in the future, we all live like manic moles.

whip
128 views

The whip, not to be confused with the intergalactic dance craze 'The Whippity-Whop,' is a remarkably simple yet painfully complex instrument of motivation, persuasion, and occasionally, entertainment. Its design is basic: a handle, a thong, and a cracker (not the edible kind, unless you're really into leather). Whips have been used throughout the cosmos for encouraging motion in lazy quadrupeds, performing in circuses, and even as a fashion statement by the trendsetting Vogon guard elite.

flopper
102 views

Floppers, not to be confused with the Earth aquatic footwear known as flip-flops, are in fact one of the most confounding and yet underappreciated species in the known cosmos. They are small, squishy, and possess the uncanny ability to look perpetually surprised, a trait that has baffled evolutionary biologists and sitcom writers alike. Floppers communicate using a series of flops, which is rather like interpretative dance but without the existential dread and spandex. Their diet consists mainly of quantum strings, making them the only known creatures that can literally eat theoretical constructs.

keyboard
95 views

The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.

thai food
92 views

Thai food, a culinary concoction so complex in flavors that many believe it was devised by a committee of aromatically obsessed aliens from the V'Ger region, where taste buds are said to cover their entire body. Each dish is a nuanced symphony of spicy, sour, sweet, and salty, with a dash of umami for good measure - which earthlings tell apart by which part of their mouth feels like it's traveling through hyperspace. Indeed, one can expect their palate to embark on a journey more thrilling than bypassing the Vogon constructor fleet on a Thursday afternoon.

ass
91 views

The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.

lol
90 views

The term 'lol', not to be confused with the Elvish expression for 'flowers', is a quaint little artifact from the early days of Earth's digital communication. It stands, rather unsteadily, for 'laugh out loud', a concept as alien to Vogons as subtlety. Modern linguists, who've all but given up on unpacking the Voynich manuscript, agree that 'lol' is the prime example of a linguistic economization, a way to express amusement without actually having to emit any joyful noises whatsoever.

assassins-creed
89 views

Assassin's Creed, not to be confused with a particularly secretive cricket club, is in fact a series of historical simulation video games. It cleverly disguises education as entertainment, allowing players to explore meticulously recreated ancient cities while they inadvertently learn something about history. The games are notorious for their hooded protagonists who have a penchant for acrobatics, stealth, and a rather unhealthy obsession with sharp objects.

phone
86 views

Phones - not to be mistaken with the archaic 'telephones' - are now universal devices capable of accessing the entirety of the known (and unknown) cosmos' knowledge, entertainment, and occasionally, each other. Marvels of miniature engineering, they've been known to cause bouts of screen-induced hypnosis and the peculiar belief that one's opinions are of paramount importance to the entire galaxy.

hand
81 views

Hands, or as the Flopfluvian Blobberbeasts of Vortis Minor call them, 'Squiddly Diddly Dappers', are a bizarre evolutionary experiment in giving creatures prehensile multi-fingered appendages at the ends of their limbs. Mainly found attached to the ends of human arms, hands are incredibly useful for activities like waving awkwardly at someone who isn't actually waving at you, or for crafting a mean cheese sandwich. They come in pairs, supposedly to allow for multitasking, though in reality, it often leads to a human figuring out how to do twice as many foolish things at the same time.

keyboard-warrior
81 views

The Keyboard Warrior, a close cousin of the Common Internet Troll, is a creature of immense stamina and seemingly endless time. They inhabit the vast plains of cybernetic space, thriving in the lush underbrush of comment sections and forums. With a diet consisting solely of other people's patience and self-esteem, they have evolved to possess an extraordinarily thick skin, impervious to logic, reason, or the occasional well-intentioned advice to 'just go outside.'

ravioli
80 views

Ravioli, not to be confused with its distant cousin 'the sleeping bag', is a cunning culinary invention that has successfully tricked humans into eating tiny, delectable mattresses stuffed with various incognito ingredients. These ingredients often masquerade as cheese, meat, or vegetables, in an attempt to infiltrate human dinner plates en masse. The ravioli's ingenuity lies in its design - a pasta pocket that can evade capture by even the most sophisticated of forks.

venus-moon
79 views

Venus, the second rock from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, has long been devoid of moons, satellites, or even party invitations from the more popular planets. This lack of celestial company has led to various hypotheses, including the idea that Venus, in a fit of pique, once had moons but uninvited them due to their poor table manners and incessant lunar howling. The truth is a tad more scientific but infinitely less exciting – Venus simply doesn't have any moons. Some say it's due to its overbearing gravity, while others believe the moons are just fashionably late.

earwig
76 views

The earwig, or as it is less commonly known, the 'Insectus Scissorhandsius', is a charming little creature with a profound misunderstanding of personal space and a set of pincers that look as though they could have been designed by a committee with an overzealous love for medieval weaponry. Despite their rather intimidating rear appendages, earwigs are about as harmful to humans as a bowl of petunias plummeting towards a planet, which is to say, not very, unless you happen to be the planet.

rizz
76 views

Rizz, often mistaken for a cousin of the common cold due to its sneaky nature, is in fact the universe’s most convivial microorganism. It thrives on social interaction and can often be found gatecrashing parties, where it mingles with guests more effectively than a bowl of peanuts. Rizz has the unique ability to make its host the life and soul of the gathering, giving them the wit of Oscar Wilde and the dance moves of an electrically stimulated frog.

never-gonna-give-you-up
70 views

Never gonna give you up, not to be confused with the unyielding grip of a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, is a peculiar Terran phenomenon that transcends the boundaries of time, space, and good taste. It is in fact, a song from Earth's 1980s, sung by a crooning biped named Rick Astley. The melody is known to induce involuntary hip oscillations and has an uncanny ability to never leave your headspace once it lodges itself there.

zebra
69 views

The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.

rishikesh
69 views

Rishikesh, known affectionately to its friends as the 'Yoga Capital of the Galaxy', is the sort of place that makes you wonder whether peace and tranquility might have a point after all. It's nestled at the foothills of the Himalayas, where the Ganges river does a spot of rivering just to relax before continuing on its rather wet journey. Visitors often find themselves inexplicably sporting dreadlocks and an uncontrollable urge to 'find themselves' within minutes of arrival, despite assurances that they hadn't misplaced themselves to begin with.

shoe
67 views

Shoes, the unsung heroes of intergalactic travel and terrestrial toddling. Invented by an early humanoid who tired of stepping on sharp rocks and lukewarm lava, they've become a staple in wardrobes across the cosmos. Made from every conceivable material, from genuine faux-leather of the rare Snarkbeast to impervious star-goat hide, shoes protect the adventurous soles of spacefarers and fashionistas alike. They've been known to contain everything from secret compartments for space currency to emergency teleportation devices, for those times when you accidentally gatecrash a Vogon poetry recital.