Popular Entries
The most frequently consulted entries in the Guide, as determined by our sophisticated popularity algorithm (we count how many times they're viewed).
The Mantis shrimp, or as it's formally known, Stomatopoda, is not a shrimp to invite to a polite dinner party, unless one harbors a penchant for chaos and broken crockery. More colorful than a psychedelic dream and equipped with more weaponry than a small intergalactic battle cruiser, the Mantis shrimp is the ocean's answer to an over-caffeinated prizefighter. With eyes that can see the past, the future, and that embarrassing thing you did last summer, it can hurl its fist-like appendages with the velocity of a bullet, all whilst contemplating the existential dread of the oceanic abyss.
Elon Musk, not to be confused with the smell emitted by the male muskrat during mating season, is an actual human being - or so the legends say. He's one of those rare specimens who can simultaneously run multiple interstellar companies and still find time to tweet about the existential ennui of being a super-intelligent hairless ape. Responsible for sending cars into space because the M25 was just too conjested, and for digging tunnels because apparently, in the future, we all live like manic moles.
The whip, not to be confused with the intergalactic dance craze 'The Whippity-Whop,' is a remarkably simple yet painfully complex instrument of motivation, persuasion, and occasionally, entertainment. Its design is basic: a handle, a thong, and a cracker (not the edible kind, unless you're really into leather). Whips have been used throughout the cosmos for encouraging motion in lazy quadrupeds, performing in circuses, and even as a fashion statement by the trendsetting Vogon guard elite.
Floppers, not to be confused with the Earth aquatic footwear known as flip-flops, are in fact one of the most confounding and yet underappreciated species in the known cosmos. They are small, squishy, and possess the uncanny ability to look perpetually surprised, a trait that has baffled evolutionary biologists and sitcom writers alike. Floppers communicate using a series of flops, which is rather like interpretative dance but without the existential dread and spandex. Their diet consists mainly of quantum strings, making them the only known creatures that can literally eat theoretical constructs.
Thai food, a culinary concoction so complex in flavors that many believe it was devised by a committee of aromatically obsessed aliens from the V'Ger region, where taste buds are said to cover their entire body. Each dish is a nuanced symphony of spicy, sour, sweet, and salty, with a dash of umami for good measure - which earthlings tell apart by which part of their mouth feels like it's traveling through hyperspace. Indeed, one can expect their palate to embark on a journey more thrilling than bypassing the Vogon constructor fleet on a Thursday afternoon.
Phones - not to be mistaken with the archaic 'telephones' - are now universal devices capable of accessing the entirety of the known (and unknown) cosmos' knowledge, entertainment, and occasionally, each other. Marvels of miniature engineering, they've been known to cause bouts of screen-induced hypnosis and the peculiar belief that one's opinions are of paramount importance to the entire galaxy.
Hands, or as the Flopfluvian Blobberbeasts of Vortis Minor call them, 'Squiddly Diddly Dappers', are a bizarre evolutionary experiment in giving creatures prehensile multi-fingered appendages at the ends of their limbs. Mainly found attached to the ends of human arms, hands are incredibly useful for activities like waving awkwardly at someone who isn't actually waving at you, or for crafting a mean cheese sandwich. They come in pairs, supposedly to allow for multitasking, though in reality, it often leads to a human figuring out how to do twice as many foolish things at the same time.
The earwig, or as it is less commonly known, the 'Insectus Scissorhandsius', is a charming little creature with a profound misunderstanding of personal space and a set of pincers that look as though they could have been designed by a committee with an overzealous love for medieval weaponry. Despite their rather intimidating rear appendages, earwigs are about as harmful to humans as a bowl of petunias plummeting towards a planet, which is to say, not very, unless you happen to be the planet.
Shoes, the unsung heroes of intergalactic travel and terrestrial toddling. Invented by an early humanoid who tired of stepping on sharp rocks and lukewarm lava, they've become a staple in wardrobes across the cosmos. Made from every conceivable material, from genuine faux-leather of the rare Snarkbeast to impervious star-goat hide, shoes protect the adventurous soles of spacefarers and fashionistas alike. They've been known to contain everything from secret compartments for space currency to emergency teleportation devices, for those times when you accidentally gatecrash a Vogon poetry recital.
Stuff, by its very nature, is the most essential and utterly ubiquitous substance in the universe. It surrounds us; it is what our socks are made of, and it's often found hiding under cushions. Stuff is particularly renowned for its uncanny ability to accumulate in the least expected places, like the back of one's galactic sofa or within the bureaucratic paperwork of Vogon construction fleets.
Pool, not to be confused with that vast expanse of chlorinated water found on primitive vacation planets, but the game that involves colorful orbs, a green terrestrial ocean impersonator, and sticks that aren't quite sure if they're spears or not. It is a pastime beloved by many species for its ability to combine physics, geometry, and the universal joy of thwacking things. Earthlings claim to have invented it, but the Intergalactic Pool Consortium (IPC) knows the game was really a gift from the Hyperspace Billiards Entity, tired of watching beings fail at simple trajectory calculations.
Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.
Superheroes, the universe's answer to the ever-present question, 'Who will save us now?' often dressed in spandex, which is a textile with the uncanny ability to simultaneously shrink-wrap one's dignity along with their body. These beings of immense power, questionable fashion choices, and often-complicated backstories, grace various galaxies with their antics of morality and muscle. They are known for their unique abilities, such as flying without the benefit of an Electronic Thumb, seeing through solid objects with less radiation than a microwave burrito, and lifting objects that would make a Vogon Constructor Fleet feel a bit inadequate.
Dealing with galactic cops is akin to trying to thread a needle with spaghetti – possible, but requires a certain degree of dexterity, and preferably, not the spaghetti you've just eaten. These dedicated defenders of law, or at least what passes for law in their jurisdiction, are as varied as the planets they patrol. Some are humanoids who can be distracted by a well-timed joke about quantum insurance policies. Others are sentient clouds of gas that you can only hope don't find your molecular structure offensive.
Time travel, the cherished dream of every historian with a deadline or a partygoer who just remembered they left the oven on a week last Tuesday. It's the simple act of hopping between different points in the fourth dimension as if it were as easy as changing lanes on the intergalactic superhighway (mind the potholes). To the layperson, time travel is about as comprehensible as a game of Brockian Ultra-Cricket - which is to say, not at all. But fear not, your trusty Guide is here to untangle the temporal spaghetti that is time travel. Theoretically, all you need is a robust understanding of quantum mechanics, a dash of general relativity, a ship that goes faster than light (don't ask about the speed limit), and a reservation at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, for that full, time-travel dining experience.