321php, not to be confused with a programming language, is a commonly used intergalactic distress signal, particularly among spacefaring species that have developed beyond the binary helix and into the third dimension of digital despair, the 'ph'. Interestingly, the 'php' part of the signal does not stand for 'Personal Home Page' nor 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor', but rather 'Pretty Horrendous Predicament'. It typically indicates that a space traveler has encountered a situation that could range from mild inconvenience, like running out of tea, to the kind of catastrophe that has entertainment value equivalent to watching a Vogon read poetry at a planetary demolition event.
If you hear the signal '321php' while hitchhiking through the cosmos, do not panic. Instead, grab a towel, offer assistance, or better yet, offer to make tea. This signal is universally recognized and can get you out of sticky situations, especially if the sticky situation is a literal one caused by a malfunctioning improbability drive.
The '321php' signal can most frequently be found in the troubleshooting manuals of spaceships that have a knack for breaking down just outside the Crab Nebula. Alternatively, it is used in bars where the electronic dartboards have gone sentient and refuse to keep score properly.
Under no circumstances should you respond to a '321php' distress signal by suggesting a reboot. This is considered extremely rude and can result in the galactic equivalent of being unfriended.
There is an unconfirmed legend that the '321php' signal was originally a marketing scheme by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation to promote their new line of Emergency Systems. This would explain why the signal has a tendency to fail just at the moment you actually need it.
Looking to avoid being the cause of a '321php' scenario? Get yourself the latest Hitchhiker's Toolkit Pro - now with an integrated sub-ether signal blocker to prevent any accidental transmissions of distress or despair.
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Jlexphp, not to be mistaken with a type of complex sneeze, is actually the lesser-known cousin of the Babel fish's digital interpreter. Known for its uncanny ability to convert incomprehensible alien syntax into moderately less incomprehensible web code, it is believed to have evolved from a coffee spill on a programmer's keyboard that was struck by lightning at precisely 42 seconds past 4:20 PM. It is only visible to those who have consumed at least three pints of the Galactic Gargle Blaster or have a master's degree in computer science, which are roughly equivalent states of mind.
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Antphp, not to be confused with its distant cousin the earthbound ant or the ubiquitous PHP programming language, is the remarkable result of a curious celestial event in which a colony of digital insects evolved to survive in the harsh environment of a low-orbit server farm. Antphp creatures are known for their diligence in data farming and their peculiar habit of hoarding deprecated code snippets, which they worship as divine relics.