Aaphp, not to be confused with a sneeze sound, is a rare and quite misunderstood entity in the vast reaches of the cosmos. It's a creature made entirely of antimatter, which is not half as dangerous as it sounds, unless you're made of matter, in which case it's exactly as dangerous as it sounds. Aaphp looks like a cross between a fluffy kitten and the concept of ennui, and it can only be seen out of the corner of one's eye when one is not particularly looking for anything.
When planning a visit to see an Aaphp, make sure your insurance covers existential as well as physical accidents. Also, consider packing a lunch, as your trip might be abruptly cut short.
The Aaphp typically resides in the vicinity of black holes, where it enjoys the intense gravitational forces and the occasional game of gravitational billiards with unsuspecting spaceships.
Avoid direct contact, thoughts about contact, and contact with thoughts. In fact, just try not to think about it too much. Also, resist the urge to pet it, no matter how fluffy it seems.
Aaphp's purr, a sound which is believed to resonate at a frequency that stimulates growth in space turnips, is considered the third most soothing sound in the galaxy, right after the hum of a well-contented spaceship engine and the silence that follows the question, 'Who's going to pay for dinner?'
Looking for the ultimate petting zoo experience? Visit Zaphod's Zero-Gravity Zoological Extravaganza! Now featuring the Aaphp Petting Simulator, because actual petting leads to annihilation!
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