Alfanewphp7 is not, as one might think, a disastrous attempt at naming a child by a pair of programmer parents. No, it is, in fact, the much less disastrous, though no less perplexing, designation for the 7th planet in the largely ignored Alfa-New-P System. Renowned for its breathtaking landscapes, which are completely invisible to the naked eye due to perpetual fog, it's a place of wonder, bewilderment, and a high probability of walking into things. The planet's unique atmosphere filters out all logic and reason, leaving visitors in a state not unlike that experienced by goldfish who've forgotten they've just had a rather good idea.
When traveling to alfanewphp7, it's strongly advised to carry an umbrella. Not for rain, you understand, but rather to fend off the native ideas, which are prone to falling out of the sky unannounced.
You can find alfanewphp7 in the vicinity of the Lesser Magellanic Cloud, just bypass the black hole with the 'Out to Lunch' sign and make a sharp left after the third supernova.
Avoid programming while on the planet's surface. The local atmosphere causes code to develop inexplicable bugs, such as functions returning the square root of Tuesday and variables that insist on being called Ethel.
The most popular sport on alfanewphp7 is Competitive Solitude, where participants compete to be the most alone. Spectators watch in silence, via live-stream, from another planet to avoid disqualifying the athletes.
Hoping to document the unpredictable madness of alfanewphp7? Try the new Mark VII Reality Distortion Camera - guarantees that at least one of your pictures will be of the thing you were pointing it at.
about 2 hours ago
Envdist, not to be confused with an environmentalist's distaste for single-use plastics, is a peculiar phenomenon found exclusively in the Glimmung Nebula, where the laws of space-time like to get a bit tipsy on the weekends. It's characterized by the abrupt and disconcerting redistribution of environmental factors such as temperature, gravity, and the color of the local star's Tuesdays. Scholars speculate that if darkness falls fast in these parts, one might find themselves experiencing a starry night on what is ostensibly Wednesday morning.
about 2 hours ago
Envtmp, not to be confused with a poorly spelled attempt at environmental temperature, is actually a microscopic life form renowned for its ability to cause momentary envy in sentient beings. After several pints at the local intergalactic pub, you might admit to feeling a bit 'envtmp' when your friend's teleporter model is sleeker than yours.