Auto-darkening glasses, the pinnacle of lazy-eye couture, are the kind of spectacles that would have made even the most lethargic of lizards throw a sharp glance of envy. Not content with merely improving your questionable vision, these highfalutin face-furniture automatically adjust their tint when exposed to light brighter than a supernova in a candy store. While you're busy not blinking at the sheer audacity of the cosmos, they go from clear to dark, preventing your delicate retinas from frying like eggs on the hood of a hot spaceship. Fashion meets function in the laziest tango known to sentient beings.
Never venture onto a sunbathing planet without your trusty auto-darkening glasses, unless you fancy the sensation of your eyeballs sizzling like sausages at a cosmic BBQ.
The finest auto-darkening glasses can be procured from the trendy boutiques of the Lesser Magellanic Cloud, where star-hopping hipsters shed their outdated visual aids in search of the latest fad.
Avoid wearing auto-darkening glasses during intergalactic eclipses, lest you miss the universe's most spectacular light show and instead stare into darkness like a particularly dimwitted black hole.
It is rumored that the infamous bandit Zaphod Beeblebrox once used a pair of auto-darkening glasses to out-stare a Medusian Blorthworm, winning a bet for a planet and a half-eaten sandwich.
Looking for an even more effortless experience? Try our new Auto-Cleaning Glasses – never again suffer the indignity of smudges from the greasy fingers of over-friendly aliens!
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Envdist, not to be confused with an environmentalist's distaste for single-use plastics, is a peculiar phenomenon found exclusively in the Glimmung Nebula, where the laws of space-time like to get a bit tipsy on the weekends. It's characterized by the abrupt and disconcerting redistribution of environmental factors such as temperature, gravity, and the color of the local star's Tuesdays. Scholars speculate that if darkness falls fast in these parts, one might find themselves experiencing a starry night on what is ostensibly Wednesday morning.
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Envtmp, not to be confused with a poorly spelled attempt at environmental temperature, is actually a microscopic life form renowned for its ability to cause momentary envy in sentient beings. After several pints at the local intergalactic pub, you might admit to feeling a bit 'envtmp' when your friend's teleporter model is sleeker than yours.