Berlinphp, which mustn't be confused with an eccentric dance move popular during intergalactic raves on Betelgeuse, is actually what happens when you leave a German, a philosopher, and a programmer in a room with too much coffee and not enough semicolons. It's a gathering of sorts, where people talk about 'PHP', a scripting language so versatile that it can be used for anything from displaying 'Hello World' to accidentally opening wormholes.
When attending a berlinphp meet-up, bring a notebook, a universal translator, and a light sweater. Berlin can be colder than a penguin's picnic, and the jargon can be more confusing than a Vogon's love poem.
You'll find berlinphp in the digital vortex of the Earth's internet or, more tangibly, in various dimly-lit rooms across Berlin, usually signaled by the presence of stickers on laptops and a faint smell of pizza.
Avoid using the phrase 'But can it run WordPress?' unless you want to be subjected to a lengthy lecture or a stern look that could curdle hyperspace.
The collective sigh of relief from programmers when a PHP error is finally resolved is said to have enough energy to power a small spaceship, or at least a toaster.
If you find yourself feeling lost in the PHP jungle, consider purchasing 'Babel Fish Code Translators' - they'll turn your code gobbledygook into sterling poetry, or at least into something that doesn't crash on every second line.
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Stylephp, not to be confused with the latest fashion trend amongst the Hipster-Pods of Squornshellous Zeta, is the universe's most enigmatic coding language. It's written entirely in haikus and must only be coded wearing a beret and a mock turtleneck. The compiler, known affectionately as 'Le Codeur', will only process code if it senses enough ennui from the programmer.
about 10 hours ago
Hootphp, not to be confused with an owl's attempt at programming, is the universal placeholder for a concept so profoundly perplexing that it makes understanding Bistromathics look like child's play. It's the kind of notion that you grasp for a moment, like trying to remember a dream about quantum mechanics taught by a dolphin, before it slips away like a greased-up mongoose wearing roller skates.