The earwig, or as it is less commonly known, the 'Insectus Scissorhandsius', is a charming little creature with a profound misunderstanding of personal space and a set of pincers that look as though they could have been designed by a committee with an overzealous love for medieval weaponry. Despite their rather intimidating rear appendages, earwigs are about as harmful to humans as a bowl of petunias plummeting towards a planet, which is to say, not very, unless you happen to be the planet.
If you're planning on hitchhiking across the cosmos, it's always a good idea to check your towel for stowaway earwigs. They're notorious for enjoying the warmth of a good quality cotton weave.
Earwigs can be found throughout the galaxy, from the damp basements of Earth to the steamy jungles of Vogsphere, and occasionally in the more neglected areas of the Guide's own offices.
Avoid leaving sugary snacks in your pockets. While earwigs prefer a diet of decomposing plant material, they have been known to develop quite the sweet tooth when given the opportunity.
In a remarkable display of cosmic irony, earwigs are neither ear-dwellers nor do they wiggle. Their name is believed to have originated from an ancient human game of 'Telephone' in which the original term, 'earth-wriggler', was grossly misheard.
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Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
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Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.