The 'editphp' is a curiously rare phenomenon in the Universe, often whispered about in the dark recesses of developer forums and not to be confused with the common garden variety 'edit' command. It is said to have the extraordinary power to transform even the most pedestrian PHP code into a shimmering tapestry of function and form, though most users report it simply turns their screens slightly more blue and their moods correspondingly more gloomy.
If you ever decide to search for editphp, take with you a sturdy keyboard and an endless supply of patience. And perhaps a small flask of something strong for when things inevitably go awry.
The elusive editphp can usually be found lurking in the depths of a programmer's third cup of coffee, or sometimes hiding behind that innocuous 'Warning: Unexpected T_STRING' error message.
Avoid using editphp when in a hurry, or when supervisors, clients, or particularly clever cats are watching. It is known to cause a peculiar condition known as 'Syntax Paranoia' where one begins to distrust every comma and semicolon.
Legend has it that the first editphp was created by a programmer who, after a particularly grueling coding session, accidentally spilled a pot of Earl Grey onto his keyboard, thus infusing it with both caffeine and a touch of British sophistication.
Tired of your mundane programming life? Upgrade to 'editphp Pro'! With twice the confusion and thrice the existential dread, it's the perfect tool for those who think they've seen it all.
3 days ago
The Towel, in interstellar travel, is arguably the most massively useful thing an intergalactic hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini-raft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you – daft as a brush, but very ravenous); and of course, you can dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
3 days ago
Borgon poetry is to poetry what a sledgehammer is to egg cracking – effective yet inadvisably overzealous. Renowned across galaxies for its ability to induce both existential dread and a peculiar desire to purchase earplugs, Borgon poetry is the auditory equivalent of a supernova confined to a broom cupboard. Its meter is so irregular it could provoke a mathematician into a nervous breakdown, and its rhyme scheme appears to have been modeled after the flight path of a drunken Gagrakackan Stink Beetle.