Envtesting, or Environmental Testing for those who aren't in a rush, is the universally acclaimed pastime of checking if one's surroundings are conducive to continued existence. Often practiced by the cautious or the paranoid, envtesting ranges from sniffing for noxious gases to confirming the absence of mind-eating parasites, which can be particularly bothersome on a Monday morning.
Always envtest before disembarking from your vessel, especially if you've gambled on a Hyperjump and ended up in an unknown quadrant. You wouldn't want to step out into a vacuum without your trousers, would you?
Envtesters can be found in the pockets, kit bags, and occasionally clenched in the trembling hands of space travelers across the Galaxy. The best ones are sold on Vogsphere, where the paranoia-inducing atmosphere ensures the highest quality of testing devices.
Avoid envtesting devices made on Traal - they are notoriously unreliable, often giving the all-clear moments before the planet implodes or a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal decides to make you its lunch.
A little-known fun fact is that envtesting was inadvertently invented by the Golgafrinchans, who were trying to invent a device that made a 'ping!' noise to locate the nearest tea service. What they got instead was a gadget that screamed when air was unbreathable, which was equally useful, particularly when making toast.
This entry was brought to you by 'Zaphod's Enviro-Matic 9000', the only envtesting device to include a 'Don't Panic' button specifically calibrated to remind you where your towel is at all times.
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