Fphp, not to be confused with a misplaced snort of disdain, is in fact the lesser-known cousin of the widely used earthling programming language PHP. The 'f' stands for 'futile', which gives a pretty fair assessment of any programmer's efforts to fully understand it. In a universe where logic is as bendable as a rubberized Möbius strip, fphp manages to stand out as uniquely perplexing, mainly due to its core directive: 'expect the unexpected, then disregard that and do something else entirely.'
If you ever find yourself coding in fphp, do not panic. It's rumoured that a calm mind and a stash of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters might help. Might.
Fphp can typically be found in the depths of legacy code on planet Obsolesce, where outdated software goes to live out its retirement in peace and confusion.
Avoid writing 'hello world' in fphp. It's been known to cause the creation of new worlds, which is a lot of paperwork for the Galactic Government.
A surprising number of fphp developers go on to become successful abstract artists or cryptic crossword puzzle designers.
Struggling with fphp? Try the new Babelfish™ Code Translator: 'Because sometimes, you just want your array to be an array.'
12 days ago
Jlexphp, not to be mistaken with a type of complex sneeze, is actually the lesser-known cousin of the Babel fish's digital interpreter. Known for its uncanny ability to convert incomprehensible alien syntax into moderately less incomprehensible web code, it is believed to have evolved from a coffee spill on a programmer's keyboard that was struck by lightning at precisely 42 seconds past 4:20 PM. It is only visible to those who have consumed at least three pints of the Galactic Gargle Blaster or have a master's degree in computer science, which are roughly equivalent states of mind.
12 days ago
Antphp, not to be confused with its distant cousin the earthbound ant or the ubiquitous PHP programming language, is the remarkable result of a curious celestial event in which a colony of digital insects evolved to survive in the harsh environment of a low-orbit server farm. Antphp creatures are known for their diligence in data farming and their peculiar habit of hoarding deprecated code snippets, which they worship as divine relics.