The hitchhikersgalaxyzip is a rare, slightly bewildering phenomenon only found in the furthest recesses of the cosmic wardrobe, where all lost things eventually accumulate. It's the zipper that never sticks, the one that defies the universal constant of frustration when you're trying to quickly leave anywhere, particularly embarrassing parties hosted by boring Betelgeusian botanists. The zip is said to be made of a material called Improbabilium, which has a knack for being impossibly cooperative, and possessing a patented 'smooth slide' action that physicists argue could solve several mysteries of the universe, including why socks disappear from the laundry.
If you're planning to seek out the hitchhikersgalaxyzip, wear loose clothing. You'll likely spend a great deal of time inverted, as this is the natural orientation for observing the most elusive fasteners in the cosmos.
To find the hitchhikersgalaxyzip, one must navigate to the Closet Constellation, beyond the Wardrobe Nebula, take a sharp left at Orion's Belt (watch out for pickpockets), and inquire at the nearest inter-dimensional lost and found.
Avoid any hitchhikersgalaxyzips that appear to have teeth missing. These are knock-offs, and getting involved with them will likely lead to being trapped in an everlasting game of hide and seek with quantum mechanics. It's no fun, especially since they bend the rules.
Amazingly, the hitchhikersgalaxyzip can automatically adjust its length to fit any garment, which has led to the theory that it's a living entity, possibly the universe's most fashionable wormhole.
Looking for the perfect fastening for your cosmic backpack? Try the patented 'Smooth Slide' hitchhikersgalaxyzip, now with a 0.0001% discount for all sentient beings! (Not responsible for any shifts in the fabric of spacetime.)
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