Iosphp is not, as some might guess, the latest trendy diet or a newly discovered minor Greek deity. It's a rare and finicky programming language, developed by the semi-mythical Siliconents of Beta Phartallon 9, who wrote code exclusively in the medium of interpretive dance. This esoteric form of technology allowed them to express complex algorithms through the medium of twirls and pirouettes, much to the bewilderment of their neighboring planets who still insisted on using their fingers for typing. Iosphp combines incomprehensible syntax with the user-friendliness of a rabid alien badger. It's said that if you ever manage to write a 'Hello, Universe!' program in Iosphp, you instantly ascend to a higher plane of existence, where you are regrettably still unable to fix your printer.
Wear comfortable shoes. Programming in Iosphp is widely known to inexplicably involve a lot of running around in circles.
Iosphp can be found in the dusty corners of the most ancient space libraries, or at the center of the Siliconents' Dance Programmer's Guild, where the floors are suspiciously well-polished.
Do not attempt to use Iosphp when in a state of logical mind, or if you have any attachment to your sanity. Also, avoid all nearby furniture edges when the spontaneous dancing inevitably begins.
Iosphp was once considered as the official language for the intergalactic spaceport signage, but the idea was scrapped when test subjects started to waltz off landing platforms.
Feeling perplexed by Iosphp? Try the new 'BabbleFish 3000', designed to translate even the most bizarre programming languages into plain Galactic Standard. Disclaimer: Does not work on Iosphp.
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