The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.
When traveling through the cosmos, carry a universal keyboard adapter. It's embarrassing to be the only entity at Intergalactic Starbucks without the ability to type a simple 'LOL' in Galactic Basic.
Keyboards can mostly be found in office habitats, often hidden beneath piles of neglected paperwork or being used as a resting place for the ceremonial office cat.
Avoid the mythical 'any' key. Many an inexperienced user has been driven to the brink of madness searching for it. Also, steer clear of keyboards in public internet cafes, they're often stickier than a Zaphod Beeblebrox handshake.
A study by the University of Maximegalon claims that keyboards have their own ecosystem, with more forms of life on a single 'E' key than there are on the lesser moons of Snorlax 12.
Need to outpace the competition in the information superhighway? Try the ErgoMax Galactic Keyboard – designed with telepathic sensors so you can finally type as fast as you think!
about 5 hours ago
Functions helperphp, not to be confused with 'functions helperbee', which is a significantly less digital and more stingy affair, is the lesser-known cousin of the programming function, often found loitering in the shadowy recesses of outdated PHP scripts. It is a collection of code snippets that perform tasks so bizarrely specific, one can't help but marvel at the imagination of their creator. They are like digital Swiss Army knives, if Swiss Army knives were programmed to peel grapes and predict the mood of antelopes.
about 6 hours ago
Hyperspace, not to be confused with the space where one keeps an abundant supply of hyperactive animals, is in fact the remarkable, not to mention blindingly fast, method by which one travels vast distances without the tedious bother of experiencing time in a linear fashion. Physics, as it seems, enjoys a good joke, and hyperspace is the universe's equivalent of a custard pie in the face of Einstein.