The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.
When traveling through the cosmos, carry a universal keyboard adapter. It's embarrassing to be the only entity at Intergalactic Starbucks without the ability to type a simple 'LOL' in Galactic Basic.
Keyboards can mostly be found in office habitats, often hidden beneath piles of neglected paperwork or being used as a resting place for the ceremonial office cat.
Avoid the mythical 'any' key. Many an inexperienced user has been driven to the brink of madness searching for it. Also, steer clear of keyboards in public internet cafes, they're often stickier than a Zaphod Beeblebrox handshake.
A study by the University of Maximegalon claims that keyboards have their own ecosystem, with more forms of life on a single 'E' key than there are on the lesser moons of Snorlax 12.
Need to outpace the competition in the information superhighway? Try the ErgoMax Galactic Keyboard – designed with telepathic sensors so you can finally type as fast as you think!
14 days ago
Jlexphp, not to be mistaken with a type of complex sneeze, is actually the lesser-known cousin of the Babel fish's digital interpreter. Known for its uncanny ability to convert incomprehensible alien syntax into moderately less incomprehensible web code, it is believed to have evolved from a coffee spill on a programmer's keyboard that was struck by lightning at precisely 42 seconds past 4:20 PM. It is only visible to those who have consumed at least three pints of the Galactic Gargle Blaster or have a master's degree in computer science, which are roughly equivalent states of mind.
14 days ago
Antphp, not to be confused with its distant cousin the earthbound ant or the ubiquitous PHP programming language, is the remarkable result of a curious celestial event in which a colony of digital insects evolved to survive in the harsh environment of a low-orbit server farm. Antphp creatures are known for their diligence in data farming and their peculiar habit of hoarding deprecated code snippets, which they worship as divine relics.