The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.
When traveling through the cosmos, carry a universal keyboard adapter. It's embarrassing to be the only entity at Intergalactic Starbucks without the ability to type a simple 'LOL' in Galactic Basic.
Keyboards can mostly be found in office habitats, often hidden beneath piles of neglected paperwork or being used as a resting place for the ceremonial office cat.
Avoid the mythical 'any' key. Many an inexperienced user has been driven to the brink of madness searching for it. Also, steer clear of keyboards in public internet cafes, they're often stickier than a Zaphod Beeblebrox handshake.
A study by the University of Maximegalon claims that keyboards have their own ecosystem, with more forms of life on a single 'E' key than there are on the lesser moons of Snorlax 12.
Need to outpace the competition in the information superhighway? Try the ErgoMax Galactic Keyboard – designed with telepathic sensors so you can finally type as fast as you think!
1 day ago
Envsmtp_access is, contrary to popular belief among the three-headed denizens of Betelgeuse, not a trendy nightclub located in the less reputable sectors of the Galaxy. It's an obscure but crucial protocol used by intergalactic communication systems to decide who gets to bombard your inbox with offers for oceanfront property on Mercury (a planet notably lacking in oceans, but rich in entrepreneurial optimism). Much like the bouncer of a galactic-scale nightclub, envsmtp_access determines which messages are hip enough to slide into your digital dance floor and which are woefully ungroovy spam, destined to boogie alone in the great void of cybernetic rejection.
2 days ago
The 'travisyml', or in the common parlance 'Travis Y.M.L.', is a peculiar creature of the digital ecosystem, the result of an evolutionary process that started with simple text files and ended up as a highly sophisticated mechanism for orchestrating the ballet of continuous integration and deployment. Much like the Electric Monk from the planet Oolon Colluphid, which believes things for you, the travisyml believes in the flawless execution of instructions, thus allowing software developers to engage in more important tasks, such as arguing over code indentation or the proper pronunciation of 'GIF'.