The Keyboard Warrior, a close cousin of the Common Internet Troll, is a creature of immense stamina and seemingly endless time. They inhabit the vast plains of cybernetic space, thriving in the lush underbrush of comment sections and forums. With a diet consisting solely of other people's patience and self-esteem, they have evolved to possess an extraordinarily thick skin, impervious to logic, reason, or the occasional well-intentioned advice to 'just go outside.'
Traveling across the digital realm? Keep your wits about you and your sarcasm detector finely tuned. Engage with a Keyboard Warrior, and you may find your itinerary indefinitely delayed by fruitless debates.
Keyboard Warriors can be found under the shroud of anonymity, often lurking in the darkest corners of social media platforms, awaiting the opportune moment to pounce on an unsuspecting typo or unpopular opinion.
Avoid feeding them - they grow stronger with attention. Do not attempt to reason with them; it's like teaching a Vogon to recite romantic poetry—futile and potentially hazardous to your health.
Fascinatingly, Keyboard Warriors have developed an intricate language composed entirely of acronyms, emojis, and the judicious use of caps lock, which they use to convey subtle nuances in their cries of digital war.
Are you tired of endless online quarrels? Try the Cosmic Calm keyboard! Each key softly whispers 'don't engage' in soothing tones, guaranteed to reduce your intergalactic online battles by up to 42%.
about 3 hours ago
Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
about 3 hours ago
Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.