The term 'kick-ass comic character' often sends chills down the spines of intergalactic evildoers and high school bullies alike. Known for their penchant for tight spandex and a moral compass so unwavering it could be used to stabilize wobbly restaurant tables, these characters are the superheroes of the paneled page. With an assortment of powers that range from the disturbingly specific (like the ability to telekinetically control dairy products) to the jaw-droppingly generic (such as super strength, flight, or the power of being incredibly good-looking), their escapades are devoured by eager earthlings in the form of colorful comic books.
Travelling through two-dimensional comic book realms is not recommended for those prone to paper cuts or anyone with an aversion to speech bubbles.
Kick-ass comic characters are primarily located within the cardboard confines of Comic-Con, though they may also be spotted in the wild, lurking in the dustier sections of second-hand bookshops, or occasionally mingling at awkwardly themed birthday parties.
Avoid questioning the physical impracticalities of their costumes or the aerodynamic viability of capes. Also, steer clear of their arch-nemeses at all costs unless you're particularly fond of maniacal monologues.
In a surprising turn of evolutionary advancement, a certain species of chameleon on the planet Gex 67b has developed the ability to not only change its skin color but also to mimic the patterns of famous comic book characters in an attempt to attract mates or deter predators with copyright infringement lawsuits.
Looking for your own slice of heroism? Try 'Capes & Cowls Inc.' where we guarantee you the super-suit of your dreams or your money mysteriously returned by an anonymous protector in the night.
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