Mahphp, not to be confused with its distant cousin 'mahjong', is the universal pastime of the philosophically inclined inhabitants of Gamma Ceti V. It is a game so complex and baffling that it makes three-dimensional chess look like a bout of tiddlywinks. Some say that mahphp was invented when a particularly bored deity dropped a mixed bag of quantum particles into a black hole and decided to record what came out the other side. The result? A game where the rules are not so much rules as gentle suggestions, frequently subject to change at the quantum level.
Should you wish to spectate or partake in this cerebral sport, be sure to bring your own towel—standard galactic spectator etiquette—and a quantum rulebook translator, as the rules will have invariably changed by the time you arrive.
Mahphp can be found in the smoky, underground speakeasies of Gamma Ceti V, which are cleverly disguised as public libraries to keep the riffraff at bay.
Avoid confidently stating that you understand the rules of mahphp unless you have at least three doctoral theses on quantum game theory, or you'll be laughed off the planet—figuratively and literally.
The reigning mahphp champion is an entity known simply as The Conundrum, who has retained the title for the past seven eons due to being the only one able to remember their winning move.
Try the new 'Easi-Peasy Mahphp Rulebook' - now with fewer pages than the Encyclopaedia Galactica, and featuring a foreword by Zaphod Beeblebrox's third cousin twice removed!
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