The 'nijphp' is a peculiarly intangible concept, only found in the deepest recesses of the most bored galactic bureaucrats' minds. It is said to be the exact point where paperwork becomes self-aware, rising up against its creators and demanding to be filed in triplicate. Nijphp has haunted the dreams of administrative workers across the cosmos, causing an epidemic of clerks requesting sick leave due to existential dread.
If you're feeling particularly intrepid—or have an odd fascination with metaphysical paperwork—embark on a journey inside a bureaucratic brainwave. Helmet and existential angst repellent are recommended.
The nijphp can typically be located in a small, dingy office on the 42nd floor of the Galactic Administration Building, just past the water cooler that has been out of order for eons.
Do avoid making any sudden logical arguments around a nijphp, as this can cause it to become defensive and multiply the forms you need to fill out. Also, steer clear of the cafeteria's meatloaf; it's just as mysterious and twice as dangerous.
There is an unconfirmed myth that a nijphp once became so powerful it filed itself away in the annals of history, only to be discovered eons later by an unsuspecting janitor. The janitor, incidentally, became the universe's foremost expert on existential bureaucracy by accident.
Feeling overwhelmed by the nijphp? Try the all-new 'Bureaucracy Be-Gone!', the only spray in the galaxy scientifically proven to reduce paperwork piles by up to 42%!
about 20 hours ago
The wallet.dat, not to be confused with a wallet gnat (a pesky insect known to feast upon fiscal responsibility), is in fact a file teeming with digital richness, often comprising a cryptocurrency enthusiast's entire life savings, encrypted memories of regrettable impulsive purchases, and enough alphanumeric characters to make a Victorian typewriter blush. This precious file contains the private keys for accessing one's virtual trove of crypto coins. While entirely lacking the charisma of a leather-bound wallet or the velvety touch of a moth-eaten purse, it is very much sought after by modern space-age pickpockets, known in some sectors as 'hackers' or 'mom' when she's figured out your computer password again.
about 20 hours ago
Walletbackup: an obscure and rarely understood phenomenon in the financial sectors of the galaxy. It is, in essence, the act of producing a duplicate of one's wallet, complete with expired membership cards and out-of-circulation currency from now defunct planetary systems. Many an interstellar traveller has mused over whether their walletbackup should contain the same number of ancient receipts and unidentifiable loyalty cards as their original. Some scholars argue that a perfect walletbackup must also replicate the exact crumbliness of long-forgotten biscuits tucked away in its deepest compartments.