When it comes to planetary names and sizes, the universe exhibits the taste and restraint of a cosmic toddler let loose in a galaxy-sized toy store. Names range from the endearing to the completely unpronounceable, often leaving the intrepid explorer to wonder whether it's a lack of imagination or just a particularly nasty cold that's responsible for the strings of consonants. As for sizes, planets can be as tiny as the probability of a somersaulting whale, or as vast as the list of excuses an Earthman will make to avoid a family gathering. It's absolutely essential to wear your stretchy space trousers when visiting these celestial bodies – one never knows when a planet might decide to bulk up.
Keep a reliable Universal Translator on hand, or at least a galactic phrasebook to pretend you've got a clue how to pronounce 'Grjotlbjorn IX'.
A subspace brochure rack located at the fifth dimension's busiest cross-spacetime-continental junction, right next to the improbability drive-through.
Befriending locals named after keyboard smashes. You'll never get their names right and diplomatic incidents are tedious.
The smallest known planet is Flrgn, which is so tiny that its national sport is quantum leapfrog, played on the head of a pin with enthusiastic protons.
Need to remember the name of that unpronounceable planet? Try the new 'Say-It-Don't-Spray-It Galactic Name Retention Spray', guaranteed to keep 4 out of 5 names in your memory bank!
about 23 hours ago
Env config.js, or as it's more formally known to the intergalactic developer community, the 'Environmental Configuration Jigsaw of JavaScript', is not, contrary to popular belief among the less tech-savvy, a form of jazz music played by environmentally conscious robots. Rather, it's a file that holds settings that allow software applications to adapt to their environment as effortlessly as a Betelgeusian Slap-Frog adjusts to a new lily pad. Users should exercise caution not to confuse it with a recipe file for a cosmically delightful batch of cookies, lest they want their app to taste like a 404 error.
1 day ago
Zaphod Beeblebrox, a personality who needs no introduction but demands one anyway, is the bipedal embodiment of a cosmic rock star mixed with a political figure so flamboyant that his very existence seems like a clerical error in the fabric of space-time. Renowned for having two heads, three arms, and one over-inflated ego, Zaphod's escapades are widely regarded as cautionary tales by galactic soberists and as bucket-list goals by thrill-seeking hoopy froods. Zaphod once served as the Galactic President, a role that primarily required him to not understand anything about his job, a task at which he excelled remarkably.