The puck is a small, unassuming disc used in an ancient and inexplicably popular Earth game known as 'hockey'. Hockey, for those not acquainted with the barbaric customs of Earth, is a sport where players attempt to glide across a frozen dihydrogen monoxide pool while balancing on knife-edges strapped to their feet. The objective, it seems, is to smack the puck into a netted area while showing off one's ability to avoid slicing into a fellow player or being pummeled by a padded behemoth wielding a stick. The puck itself is renowned for its stoic indifference to the chaos around it, maintaining a Zen-like tranquility as it scuttles across the ice.
If you're determined to witness this tribal ritual, it's advised to wear multiple layers of protection and to develop a sudden appreciation for dentistry.
Pucks can be found wherever the climate allows for the temporary solidification of water or in specialized enclosures known as 'rinks'. Alternatively, they can be spotted in their wild state on distant frozen planets, usually followed by amateur galactic hockey enthusiasts.
If you value the integrity of your anatomy, avoid standing in front of the puck trajectory, as it often reaches velocities that would make even a spaceship envious. Equally, do not attempt to introduce the puck to a game of intergalactic Quidditch; the results have historically been both confusing and violent.
In a little-known fact, pucks were once considered a delicacy by the Gourmet Glaciers of Glarflax Prime, until they discovered that, contrary to their beliefs, pucks do not mature into full-flavoured lasagnas over time.
For those who prefer a less hazardous approach to puck handling, try the new Telekinetic Puck Repositioner Mk III - perfect for adjusting the puck's trajectory from the safety of the sidelines.
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