Safety glasses are the unsung heroes of ocular protection, esteemed in their capability to shield one's peepers from the universe's unforgiving detritus. Often confused with lesser spectacles, these guardians of the gaze are to the eyes what the S.P.A.R.K. Field Generator is to an intergalactic cruiser's hull integrity - utterly indispensable. Made from transparent materials harder than the resolve of a taxman at teatime, they are designed to fit snugly around the face, often endowing the wearer with a certain je ne sais quoi, which in this case translates to 'geek chic'.
Always pack a pair when planning on venturing into asteroid belts, supernova remnants, or the lair of a Plutarkian Slime Toad. A stray particle or venomous spit can really ruin your day.
Safety glasses can be found on any planet with a rudimentary understanding of health and safety regulations – which is to say, almost none. However, the finest range is rumored to be crafted by the enlightened optometrists of the Glassius-9 belt, who use space-diamond dust in their lenses.
Avoid knockoff safety goggles boasting 'one size fits all' - these are typically designed for beings with at least seven eyes and are surprisingly uncomfortable for the bipedal, two-eyed majority.
Historians have postulated that the Great Illuvian Blindsight Epidemic was a direct result of not wearing safety glasses during the annual comet-polo matches.
Searching for optimal optical protection? Look no further than 'The SeeSafe Emporium' - our lenses are so clear, you'll forget you're in imminent danger!
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