Travel Guide
Essential information for any hitchhiker traversing the galaxy. Remember: DON'T PANIC, and always know where your towel is.
1. Your Towel
The most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Use it for warmth, as a weapon, wet it for hand- to-hand combat, wrap it around your head to ward off noxious fumes, and of course, dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
2. Electronic Thumb
A more sophisticated version of the traditional thumb - essential for signaling passing spacecraft for a lift.
3. Babel Fish
Small, yellow, leech-like fish that feeds on brain wave energy. Pop it in your ear to understand any language in the galaxy.
4. Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser
Produces a liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. Better than nothing in a pinch.
1. Hitching Etiquette
Always smile at the driver. This may be difficult if they have just rescued you from the vacuum of space where you've been floating for thirty seconds. But a smile is important in these situations.
2. Space Travel
The secret to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
3. Local Customs
When visiting Squornshellous Zeta, always compliment the mattresses on their bounciness. When dining at Milliways, remember to meet your meat.
4. Time Travel
Avoid if possible. If unavoidable, never meet yourself and remember that most problems are caused by people being where they shouldn't be, when they shouldn't be there.
"Space," says the Guide, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space."
Emergency Procedures
In case of emergency, follow these steps:
1. Don't Panic
2. Locate your towel
3. Check your Babel fish is secure
4. Consult the Guide
5. If all else fails, panic
Final Advice
The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42. Unfortunately, we're still not sure what the Question is. In the meantime, try to enjoy your journey through this amazingly improbable universe.