wbphp, or Wildly Baffling Prehistoric Hovering PHP, is a little-known coding language, rumored to be the brainchild of bored hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings during their lunch break. It's said that this language can make computers do extraordinary things, like whistle Beethoven's Fifth while brewing a perfect cup of tea. Of course, experts in wbphp are as rare as a happy Vogon, mainly because the syntax is composed entirely of petroglyphs and the comment sections must be written in haiku.
If you find yourself in a universe where wbphp is the standard programming language, do not panic. Simply pretend to be an archaeologist who is terrible at poetry, and you'll blend right in.
You can typically find wbphp in the dustier, more forgotten sections of the Intergalactic Library of Obsolete Code, right between the volumes of 'COBOL Sonnets' and 'LISP Limericks.'
Avoid anyone who claims they can teach you wbphp in 24 hours. They are either trying to sell you a bridge on Squornshellous Zeta or they are genuinely deluded enough to think that's possible.
It's been rumored that a single line of wbphp code, if written correctly, could power the Infinite Improbability Drive for a whole year, or at least until tea time.
Looking to master the mysteries of wbphp? Try the new Babblefish's Codex Earbuds – now with prehistoric language support! Disclaimer: Cannot translate ancient Sumerian.
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