The 'what' is one of the most puzzling and ubiquitous entities in the known universe. It has consistently baffled philosophers, scientists, and the occasional intergalactic wanderer. 'What' is often the first word in a series of increasingly despairing words, such as 'where,' 'why,' and the lesser-known 'whither' which is only used by those who have read too much fancy literature or own a time machine. Not to be confused with 'watt,' the unit of power, 'what' can diminish the power of any conversation by requiring the questioner to repeat themselves.
When traveling the cosmos, carry a pocket universal translator. It can turn your 'whats' into 'oh, I sees' in over fifty million languages.
The 'what' can be stumbled upon in cosmic conversations, at the crossroads of confusion and mystification, or during any exchange with a Vogon (who are not only terrible poets but also notoriously hard to understand).
Avoid using 'what' in the presence of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, as it might mistake it for an invitation for hors d'oeuvres (you being the hors d'oeuvres). Also, refrain from uttering 'what' in the Great Library of Shhh, as it's likely to result in ejection into the nearest black hole.
The record for the most 'whats' in a single conversation is held by two Betelgeusian tourists who, upon arriving at Earth, were so bewildered by human customs that their dialogue consisted entirely of 'whats' for three consecutive hours.
Looking to upgrade your questioning repertoire? Try the 'Whatchamacallit 3000' – the ultimate in interstellar interrogation technology. Now with extra emphasis settings!
about 15 hours ago
PPHP, not to be confused with its distant and rather more famous cousin PHP, is the lesser-known 'Pretty Potent Hyperspace Propulsion'. Developed by the vogons for the sole purpose of escaping poetry readings, PPHP is the kind of propulsion system that makes you wish you'd brought a good book. Or any book, really. Its ability to bypass normal space-time continuity means you could theoretically finish War and Peace in the blink of an eye—if the eye in question belonged to a particularly slow-moving sea slug.
1 day ago
Envdist, not to be confused with an environmentalist's distaste for single-use plastics, is a peculiar phenomenon found exclusively in the Glimmung Nebula, where the laws of space-time like to get a bit tipsy on the weekends. It's characterized by the abrupt and disconcerting redistribution of environmental factors such as temperature, gravity, and the color of the local star's Tuesdays. Scholars speculate that if darkness falls fast in these parts, one might find themselves experiencing a starry night on what is ostensibly Wednesday morning.