The 'what' is one of the most puzzling and ubiquitous entities in the known universe. It has consistently baffled philosophers, scientists, and the occasional intergalactic wanderer. 'What' is often the first word in a series of increasingly despairing words, such as 'where,' 'why,' and the lesser-known 'whither' which is only used by those who have read too much fancy literature or own a time machine. Not to be confused with 'watt,' the unit of power, 'what' can diminish the power of any conversation by requiring the questioner to repeat themselves.
When traveling the cosmos, carry a pocket universal translator. It can turn your 'whats' into 'oh, I sees' in over fifty million languages.
The 'what' can be stumbled upon in cosmic conversations, at the crossroads of confusion and mystification, or during any exchange with a Vogon (who are not only terrible poets but also notoriously hard to understand).
Avoid using 'what' in the presence of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, as it might mistake it for an invitation for hors d'oeuvres (you being the hors d'oeuvres). Also, refrain from uttering 'what' in the Great Library of Shhh, as it's likely to result in ejection into the nearest black hole.
The record for the most 'whats' in a single conversation is held by two Betelgeusian tourists who, upon arriving at Earth, were so bewildered by human customs that their dialogue consisted entirely of 'whats' for three consecutive hours.
Looking to upgrade your questioning repertoire? Try the 'Whatchamacallit 3000' – the ultimate in interstellar interrogation technology. Now with extra emphasis settings!
13 days ago
Jlexphp, not to be mistaken with a type of complex sneeze, is actually the lesser-known cousin of the Babel fish's digital interpreter. Known for its uncanny ability to convert incomprehensible alien syntax into moderately less incomprehensible web code, it is believed to have evolved from a coffee spill on a programmer's keyboard that was struck by lightning at precisely 42 seconds past 4:20 PM. It is only visible to those who have consumed at least three pints of the Galactic Gargle Blaster or have a master's degree in computer science, which are roughly equivalent states of mind.
13 days ago
Antphp, not to be confused with its distant cousin the earthbound ant or the ubiquitous PHP programming language, is the remarkable result of a curious celestial event in which a colony of digital insects evolved to survive in the harsh environment of a low-orbit server farm. Antphp creatures are known for their diligence in data farming and their peculiar habit of hoarding deprecated code snippets, which they worship as divine relics.