The whip, not to be confused with the intergalactic dance craze 'The Whippity-Whop,' is a remarkably simple yet painfully complex instrument of motivation, persuasion, and occasionally, entertainment. Its design is basic: a handle, a thong, and a cracker (not the edible kind, unless you're really into leather). Whips have been used throughout the cosmos for encouraging motion in lazy quadrupeds, performing in circuses, and even as a fashion statement by the trendsetting Vogon guard elite.
If traveling to a planet where whips are in high socio-environmental fashion, remember to bring your own. Showing up without one is considered the height of poor manners, akin to forgetting your towel.
Whips can be found on planet Strapiom, where the Whipper-beasts, renowned for their tail's whip-like appendages, are 'harvested' in a manner that's best left unexplained.
Never snap a whip near a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal; it takes it as a dinner bell. Also, do avoid the Whip-back Swamps of Squelch, where the flora isn't afraid to whip back.
The Galactic Whip-Off is an annual event where beings from all over the universe compete to crack their whips in the most creative and rhythmically mesmerizing ways, all while avoiding disintegration by the judges if they're off-tempo.
Check out 'Crack That!'—the latest in sonic resonance whip technology. These whips come with adjustable volume control, guaranteed to be heard in the vacuum of space (suit and space station upgrades for sonic protection sold separately).
4 days ago
Superheroes, the universe's answer to the ever-present question, 'Who will save us now?' often dressed in spandex, which is a textile with the uncanny ability to simultaneously shrink-wrap one's dignity along with their body. These beings of immense power, questionable fashion choices, and often-complicated backstories, grace various galaxies with their antics of morality and muscle. They are known for their unique abilities, such as flying without the benefit of an Electronic Thumb, seeing through solid objects with less radiation than a microwave burrito, and lifting objects that would make a Vogon Constructor Fleet feel a bit inadequate.
5 days ago
Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.