The whip, not to be confused with the intergalactic dance craze 'The Whippity-Whop,' is a remarkably simple yet painfully complex instrument of motivation, persuasion, and occasionally, entertainment. Its design is basic: a handle, a thong, and a cracker (not the edible kind, unless you're really into leather). Whips have been used throughout the cosmos for encouraging motion in lazy quadrupeds, performing in circuses, and even as a fashion statement by the trendsetting Vogon guard elite.
If traveling to a planet where whips are in high socio-environmental fashion, remember to bring your own. Showing up without one is considered the height of poor manners, akin to forgetting your towel.
Whips can be found on planet Strapiom, where the Whipper-beasts, renowned for their tail's whip-like appendages, are 'harvested' in a manner that's best left unexplained.
Never snap a whip near a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal; it takes it as a dinner bell. Also, do avoid the Whip-back Swamps of Squelch, where the flora isn't afraid to whip back.
The Galactic Whip-Off is an annual event where beings from all over the universe compete to crack their whips in the most creative and rhythmically mesmerizing ways, all while avoiding disintegration by the judges if they're off-tempo.
Check out 'Crack That!'—the latest in sonic resonance whip technology. These whips come with adjustable volume control, guaranteed to be heard in the vacuum of space (suit and space station upgrades for sonic protection sold separately).
about 8 hours ago
The 'what' is one of the most puzzling and ubiquitous entities in the known universe. It has consistently baffled philosophers, scientists, and the occasional intergalactic wanderer. 'What' is often the first word in a series of increasingly despairing words, such as 'where,' 'why,' and the lesser-known 'whither' which is only used by those who have read too much fancy literature or own a time machine. Not to be confused with 'watt,' the unit of power, 'what' can diminish the power of any conversation by requiring the questioner to repeat themselves.
16 days ago
The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.