The wp-22php is not, despite its deceivingly mundane designation, a Wordpress plugin, nor a new-fangled recipe for a pumpkin spice latte with a dash of PHP - though that would be interesting, wouldn't it? In the peculiar and often illogical expanses of the known universe, wp-22php stands as a testament to the creativity of bored intergalactic engineers. It is, in fact, the model number of a pocket-sized wormhole projector, capable of zapping you from the dreariest board meeting to the stunning beaches of Santraginus V - or, with a slight miscalculation, into the heart of a small sun.
Travellers are advised to carry a wp-22php at all times but never to use it in closed spaces, underwater, or during poetry recitals - the results are unpredictable, and sometimes rhyme.
The wp-22php can be found at dodgy cosmic bazaars or in the toolbox of your average quantum mechanic, usually beneath a pile of improbability drive manuals and broken dreams.
Avoid purchasing wp-22php devices from unauthorized vendors, as the knock-offs are known to cause you to exist in multiple locations simultaneously, leading to incredibly confusing weekends.
Despite its name, the wp-22php has 42 settings, which scientists agree is the exact number needed to confuse anyone trying to understand its purpose on a Monday morning.
For a limited time, buy one wp-22php and get a complimentary towel - the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have, second only to a reliable wormhole projector.
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