Wpphp, pronounced 'wupp-hup', is a little-known phenomenon in the outer stretches of the Crab Nebula. It is often mistaken for a communicable disease by those who overhear its name in less reputable spaceports. In actuality, wpphp is a rare form of space-time hiccup that occurs when the universe has indigestion of the fourth dimension. Witnesses often report sudden shifts in reality, including brief appearances of polka-dotted trees and occasionally a sentient blancmange pleading for legal representation.
If you happen to encounter a wpphp, do not panic. It is not contagious, but it is recommended to hum a tune from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony to appear cultured to any passing entities.
The best place to witness a wpphp is aboard the Star Gazer cruise ship, which takes a leisurely route through the Crab Nebula. Bring a camera, as the effects make for exceptional holiday snaps - particularly the floating bowler hats that serve as a universal sign of sophistication.
Avoid trying to exploit wpphp for time travel. It's much too unreliable for that, and you're more likely to end up inside a historical drama playing an extra who doesn't understand the local lingo or customs.
Fun Fact: The wpphp was first documented by the esteemed Professor C. H. R. Ono-Timp, who stumbled upon the phenomenon when his cat walked across his keyboard while he was mapping quantum fluctuations. The resulting term has since become shorthand for 'that thing that just happened and I have no idea why'.
Feeling a bit out of place? Try Universe Soothe-All Peppermints, the preferred treat for calming unruly dimensions and soothing cosmic indigestion. Now available in parallel flavours!
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Gmophp, not to be confused with a minor hiccup in pronunciation whilst trying to order a 'gimlet' at a noisy intergalactic bar, is in fact, one of the lesser-known cosmic phenomena. It straddles the line between particle and wave, philosophy and physics, common sense and utter balderdash. To study gmophp is to embark on an intellectual crusade, much like donning a colander as a helmet and charging at windmills - pointless but inexplicably rewarding.
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