Wxophp, pronounced 'wiz-off' by those who dare to utter its name in polite conversation, is the quantum state of confuzzlement that occurs when an individual attempts to understand the inner workings of a smartphone after the consumption of too many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. It's that moment when one stares, bleary-eyed and slack-jawed at the infernal device, convinced that the answer to life, the universe, and everything could be divined from its glowing screen if only one could remember how to turn it on.
Travelers seeking wxophp are advised to find a cozy spot near the bar, with ample cushioning for the inevitable slump that follows true enlightenment.
Wxophp may be found in the fuzzy corners of any party galaxy-wide where technology and spirits mix with reckless abandon. It's particularly prevalent in the constellation of App-ollo, just off the digital beltway.
Those looking to avoid wxophp should steer clear of combining technobabble with alcohol and should never agree to update anyone’s software whilst under the influence of fun.
A surprising number of Galactic Hitchhikers have reported that during moments of intense wxophp, their devices have briefly achieved sentience, often giving quite good relationship advice before returning to inanimate status.
Should you or a loved one find yourselves in the throws of wxophp, consider downloading the BabelFishMind app. It offers instant translation of any confusing technology jargon into plain, slightly slurred Galactic Basic.
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