xpwphp

Xpwphp, often confused with the sound of a wet towel slapped against a malfunctioning electronic synthesizer, is in fact one of the lesser-known cosmic phenomena to have ever puzzled the apathetic beings of Squornshellous Zeta. Its true nature remains as elusive as the point of the poetry of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England. Determined to be neither particle nor wave, nor even a whimsical blend of the two, xpwphp defies classification, dodging even the most speculative of quantum theorists who've thrown up their hands and decided to pursue a less stressful occupation, like diffusing supernovas.

Travel Advice

Should you encounter xpwphp while hitching across the galaxy, it is advised to act naturally and remember that panic is not a recognized form of currency anywhere that xpwphp exists, which is likely everywhere and nowhere simultaneously.

Where to Find

Xpwphp can usually be found in places where it isn't, which is to say, it's most prevalent in the gaps between thoughts, the pause before applause at a Vogon poetry reading, and the unlikely event of a mattress flolloping in the wild.

What to Avoid

Avoid attempting to capture xpwphp on camera. Many have tried; all that's left of their efforts are blurred images and a deep-seated embarrassment that they've tried to capture something that might be a figment of their own imagination—or everyone else's.

Fun Fact

A rumored, yet unverified, fun fact is that xpwphp is the sound made when the universe accidentally sits on a particularly squeaky existential whoopee cushion. Some philosophers have dedicated their lives to proving this theory, much to the dismay of their dinner party hosts.