Zonaphp, not to be confused with the common web scripting language, is a rare celestial phenomenon only observed in the particularly soporific regions of the Betelgeuse system. It can best be described as the optical equivalent of a whoopee cushion: unexpected, mildly amusing, and slightly embarrassing when explained at dinner parties. Scientists and philosophers have long debated whether Zonaphp exists or if it's merely the galactic community's inside joke.
If you're keen on seeing the Zonaphp with your own two or more eyes, you'll need a spacecraft with a Hyperspace Bypass drive, a comfy chair, and a predisposition to giggling at cosmic pranks.
Zonaphp has been spotted near the Lesser Magellanic Cloud, masquerading as an ordinary nebula. To the untrained eye, it's merely a smudge of light, but to the enlightened traveler, it's a smudge of light with panache.
Avoid looking directly at the Zonaphp while eating or drinking. The sudden onset of bemusement has been known to result in unexpected snorts, which can be disastrous in zero gravity environments.
The Zonaphp is the only astronomical event to have its own theme song, which, due to a clerical error, is the sound of a kazoo being played by a slightly off-key symphony orchestra.
For the would-be Zonaphp observer, consider purchasing the 'ZonaScope' - the telescope capable of filtering out cosmic background laughter, allowing for uncompromised viewing. Warning: May not actually filter laughter.
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