07php, a term that might lead the uninitiated to suspect it's the latest model of an android designed to fix zero-gravity printers or perhaps a trendy cocktail favored by cyborgs with a penchant for early 21st-century server-side scripting languages. In truth, it is neither. 07php is the essential cosmic codebase that runs the background processes of the universe's less important functions, like ensuring that socks lost in the laundry remain in quantum flux until you've bought a replacement pair, or that cats always land on their feet unless it's really hilarious.
When traveling to 07php's source nexus, do not adjust your cerebral input settings. The sheer mundanity of its function may cause existential ennui in sentient beings.
07php is typically found in the overworked server racks of the universe, located precisely where you least expect them - behind the improbability drive of a stranded spaceship or in the pantry of a space-diner famed for its soggy toast.
Avoid direct manipulation of 07php code. Unintended consequences include reversing the polarity of your taste buds (making tea taste like motor oil and vice versa) and causing widespread pandemonium in local spacetime (like Tuesdays occurring twice a week).
The '07' prefix in 07php was bestowed by the Great Cosmic Committee for Needless Bureaucracy, signifying that it was their seventh attempt at creating a codebase that didn't accidentally summon a swarm of ravenous bugblatter beasts to a peaceful planet.
If tinkering with the fabric of cosmic reality is your cup of pan-galactic gargle blaster, might we suggest the 'Babel Fish Code School'? Learn 87 languages, seven of which might actually be useful for programming!
about 9 hours ago
The Zsephp, pronounced 'Zee-sef' but only correctly by three people, none of whom are on speaking terms, is a creature of such profound laziness that it makes the average housecat look like a hyperactive blur of constant motion. With a body composed largely of a gelatinous, translucent blorble, the Zsephp spends most of its existence slowly pulsating in a state of rest so deep that nearby digital watches often pause to catch their breath.
about 9 hours ago
Themesphp, not to be confused with a trendy PHP framework, is in fact a little-known galactic holiday celebrated by the highly intellectual yet bewilderingly misunderstood inhabitants of the planet Vortexia. This festive occasion is marked by an exuberant exchange of logic puzzles, the consumption of carbonated beverages that taste suspiciously like a mixture of rocket fuel and mint toothpaste, and the wearing of hats that are capable of reciting PHP code with the charisma of a bored intergalactic tax accountant.