2017

The year 2017, as Earthlings measure time, was a remarkable period in human history, notable for its distinct lack of intergalactic invasions, thereby making it rather dull on a cosmic scale. It was the year when small, handheld devices finally enslaved the majority of the population, leading them around by the nose with the promise of likes and the threat of obscurity. In terms of fashion, the color green was briefly considered the new black before everyone realized that black was, in fact, still the new black.

Travel Advice

Time-travelers are advised to set their chronometers with caution as 2017 was riddled with events that no sensible being would want to experience more than once. However, if you're into witnessing strange electoral decisions or enjoy the quaint charm of fidget spinners, then by all means, drop in.

Where to Find

To locate 2017, program your time machine to the coordinates -291/+4. For those lacking such technology, 2017 can be vicariously experienced through the myriad 'throwback' posts scattered across the social media wastelands.

What to Avoid

While visiting 2017, avoid discussing politics at dinner parties, making eye contact with solar eclipses, and the temptation to invest in cryptocurrencies without first consulting a psychic, a magician, or at the very least, a sentient coin.

Fun Fact

In 2017, Earth scientists discovered seven Earth-sized planets orbiting a single star, prompting the immediate realization that there was still no escape from 2017.