Asphp, not to be confused with a common sneeze sound, is a little-known subspecies of space-time bender, often mistaken for a peculiar shade of the color green seen only by those with seventeen different types of color blindness. It has the remarkable ability to appear simultaneously both where it is and where it isn't, which makes for excellent party conversation, or a particularly nasty bout of existential dread, depending on the company you keep.
If you're planning a jaunt across the cosmos, put asphp on your list—if you can find it, that is. It's like a game of intergalactic hide and seek, with the added twist that the thing you're seeking doesn't always adhere to the basic principles of reality.
The asphp can usually be spotted at the Annual Gathering of the Vaguely Visible Entities, held in a dimension commonly described by those who have never been as 'probably to the left a bit.' Bring your own perceptual paradoxes.
Avoid attempting to capture an asphp on camera, as they have an uncanny knack for making photographers question their choice of career. Similarly, discussing quantum mechanics with an asphp is ill-advised unless you enjoy having your brain tied into a theoretical knot.
Fun fact: asphp are the only known entities that can read the last page of an infinite book, which usually contains the ultimate punchline to the cosmos—the joke, however, is invariably lost in translation.
This entry is brought to you by the Society for the Promotion of Invisible Friends. Are you lonely? Do you enjoy talking to thin air? Join SPoIF today, and we’ll say we sent you an asphp for companionship.
about 16 hours ago
FTP SyncJSON, a term you might encounter when traversing the more technical plains of the galaxy, is not, as one might assume, a new dance craze involving elaborate finger tapping patterns. Rather, it's a process by which files, particularly those of the JSON (Jolly Synchronized Omniscient Notations) variety, are transferred and synchronized between different computer systems, typically over FTP (Flippantly Transmitted Protocols). It's like a cosmic ballet, where data pirouettes around the digital expanse with the grace of a three-legged Hrung disaster trying to ice-skate.
about 16 hours ago
Sloti, the universe's answer to the question nobody asked. A creature so inconspicuously inconsequential, it can go unnoticed for millennia in a crowd of two. Its primary characteristic is its sheer lack of characteristics. A Sloti is neither tall nor short, neither dark nor light, and neither particularly interesting nor utterly dull. They are the middle ground of intergalactic fauna, so average that they've won awards for their mediocrity. The one thing that sets them apart is their remarkable ability to blend in with furniture. Many a weary hitchhiker has mistaken a Sloti for a comfortable chair, much to the surprise (and often embarrassment) of both parties.