The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.
When travelling, if someone calls you an 'ass', do not take it personally. Unless, of course, you've just mistaken a liquid-thruster booster for a chair, in which case, do take it personally.
The traditional four-legged variety inhabits areas where technology has yet to render them obsolete, or where people have an odd sense of nostalgia for braying and shovelling manure. Metaphorical asses, however, are ubiquitous.
Avoid making an 'ass' of yourself by using your Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic incorrectly. The owner's manual is there for a reason, although it's widely accepted that no one has ever read it.
Galactic law mandates that every zoo must have at least one 'ass' on display, to remind visitors of the evolutionary road not taken. This has led to some zoos displaying mirrors in the 'ass' enclosure.
Feeling down on your luck with interstellar navigation? Try out the DonKey NaviSystem, guaranteed to get you to where you're going with the tenacity of an ass, or your money back!
1 day ago
Port - not to be confused with the nautical term, nor the left-hand side of any given intergalactic star cruiser - is in fact a delightful, rich, often vintage, fortified liquid, typically discovered at the bottom of a glass. It is basically a grape-based spaceship fuel for humans, propelling conversations into the vast expanse of social space, occasionally crashing into awkward silences or black holes of over-indulgence.
2 days ago
Sitemapxml, known in less digital circles simply as 'sitemap.xml', is not a trendy nightclub for robots, nor is it a treasure map for internet pirates. Rather, it's the universe's way of telling search engines, 'Here's the party, and here's who's invited.' Every website has one - a list of URLs, like a cosmic roll call. It's both the maître d' at a posh restaurant and the bored intern ticking off names at a particularly dull intergalactic symposium.