The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.
When travelling, if someone calls you an 'ass', do not take it personally. Unless, of course, you've just mistaken a liquid-thruster booster for a chair, in which case, do take it personally.
The traditional four-legged variety inhabits areas where technology has yet to render them obsolete, or where people have an odd sense of nostalgia for braying and shovelling manure. Metaphorical asses, however, are ubiquitous.
Avoid making an 'ass' of yourself by using your Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic incorrectly. The owner's manual is there for a reason, although it's widely accepted that no one has ever read it.
Galactic law mandates that every zoo must have at least one 'ass' on display, to remind visitors of the evolutionary road not taken. This has led to some zoos displaying mirrors in the 'ass' enclosure.
Feeling down on your luck with interstellar navigation? Try out the DonKey NaviSystem, guaranteed to get you to where you're going with the tenacity of an ass, or your money back!
15 days ago
The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.
23 days ago
Venus, the second rock from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, has long been devoid of moons, satellites, or even party invitations from the more popular planets. This lack of celestial company has led to various hypotheses, including the idea that Venus, in a fit of pique, once had moons but uninvited them due to their poor table manners and incessant lunar howling. The truth is a tad more scientific but infinitely less exciting – Venus simply doesn't have any moons. Some say it's due to its overbearing gravity, while others believe the moons are just fashionably late.