The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.
When travelling, if someone calls you an 'ass', do not take it personally. Unless, of course, you've just mistaken a liquid-thruster booster for a chair, in which case, do take it personally.
The traditional four-legged variety inhabits areas where technology has yet to render them obsolete, or where people have an odd sense of nostalgia for braying and shovelling manure. Metaphorical asses, however, are ubiquitous.
Avoid making an 'ass' of yourself by using your Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic incorrectly. The owner's manual is there for a reason, although it's widely accepted that no one has ever read it.
Galactic law mandates that every zoo must have at least one 'ass' on display, to remind visitors of the evolutionary road not taken. This has led to some zoos displaying mirrors in the 'ass' enclosure.
Feeling down on your luck with interstellar navigation? Try out the DonKey NaviSystem, guaranteed to get you to where you're going with the tenacity of an ass, or your money back!
about 3 hours ago
Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
about 3 hours ago
Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.