Assets, in the universal sense, are quite unlike the traditional notion of wealth and more about collecting experiences—and occasionally, rare species of intergalactic flora, which may or may not be sentient. For example, owning a piece of real estate on Vogsphere is often seen as a remarkable asset, mostly because it serves as a conversation starter about one's survival instincts, or profound lack thereof.
When searching for assets, always keep your Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic tuned to 'Weird' because acquiring assets is an odd adventure that could take you anywhere from the coffee rings of Jovita to the improbability sinks of Maximegalon.
Assets can generally be found after consulting with a smooth-talking Zaphod Beeblebrox impersonator or, more traditionally, at the end of an elaborate scavenger hunt organized by bored trillionaires in the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy.
Certainly avoid any assets that pulse rhythmically, hum a catchy tune, or offer you advice on life matters—that's usually a sign of impending possession or a very invasive sales pitch.
In a survey conducted by the interstellar bureau of fiscal anomalies, it was discovered that the most valuable asset in the universe is not gold, nor the fabled 'Exista-coin', but a perfectly toasted slice of bread—due to its rarity at breakfast gatherings on mostly liquid-based planets.
Looking for assets that won't talk back or try to eat your spaceship? Try Gargleblaster's Galactic Deeds & Estate. No conversation, no digestion, just good old-fashioned swamps and volcanoes—exactly where you'd want to build your holiday villa!
1 day ago
View Source, the hidden spectacles of the digital universe, is like peeking behind the cosmic curtain to see the wizard of websites in his pajamas. It's a feature as crucial to web developers as towels are to galactic hitchhikers. By right-clicking with the finesse of a Jovian snail-rider corralling its steed, one may behold the raw, unstyled code that powers our most beloved time-wasting portals. It's like reading the ingredients on a packet of salted peanuts, except the peanuts are made of HTML and JavaScript, and nobody's allergic.
1 day ago
Tire, not to be confused with the emotional state of being tired, is actually that round, rubbery bit that fits snugly around the wheel of a vehicle and gives it the delusion of athletic prowess. These circular marvels of engineering are to vehicles what shoes are to bipeds; a means to tread across the cosmos without getting one's metaphorical feet all grimy and punctured. Tires have been known to elicit a sense of wanderlust in vehicles, often leading them to mistakenly believe they're in a perpetual state of holiday. Moreover, tires are the unsung heroes of hasty retreats and the stalwart companions of the 'road less travelled'.