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babel fish

Reliability: 87%
Danger Level: 12%
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The Babel fish is a remarkable little creature capable of translating any language directly into the brain waves of the nearest sentient being. It has unarguably proved the non-existence of God, which ironically led to a boom in religious tourism seeking the fish as a divine souvenir. Slip one into your auditory canal, and voila! You're babbling like a native in no time, assuming the natives babble and you're keen on sharing that modality of communication.

Travel Advice

Carry a tin of Babel fish food in case your linguistic liaison decides to lodge in your ear longer than a polite guest should.

Where to Find

Babel fish are typically located in the nebulous streams of the Perspicacity Nebula, where they flit around the Echoing Asteroids, mistaking the asteroidal reverberations for cosmic gossip.

What to Avoid

Avoid letting the fish get too comfortable. Extended use may result in an ear canal so cosmopolitan that it begins applying for its own passports.

Fun Fact

A Babel fish's translation abilities are so acute that they can even interpret the subtle nuances of silence. This makes them the life of any mime convention across the cosmos.

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