The Beam Katana, not to be confused with a light sabre, mainly because of copyright reasons, is a peculiar piece of equipment favoured by the discerning assassin. Made famous, or infamous, depending on your perspective and current state of aliveness, in the video game series No More Heroes, it's the go-to gadget for chopping sushi and adversaries in equal measure. However, unlike the traditional katana, this one glows with the fury of a thousand restricted stadium lasers and buzzes like an overcaffeinated bumblebee.
If you find yourself in the vicinity of a Beam Katana user, remember that running away is not cowardly; it's cardio. And cardio is good for your health, unlike Beam Katanas.
One might stumble upon a Beam Katana at the Intergalactic Black Market, adjacent to the Big Bang Burger Bar, where the burgers are almost as explosive as the merchandise.
Avoid using the Beam Katana to butter toast or perform any kind of DIY around the house. And never, under any circumstances, use it as a back-scratcher.
A Beam Katana's energy blade is powered by the user's personal sense of drama, meaning the more theatrically inclined you are, the longer your battery lasts.
After tiring of slicing and dicing, consider relaxing with 'Zen and the Art of Katana Maintenance', a guidebook to achieving inner peace and optimum blade performance.
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