bill dickey from the eltingville club

Bill Dickey, no relation to the legendary baseball player, is nonetheless an iconic figure within the Eltingville Club, a society so secretive that even its own members aren't entirely sure of its purpose. Rumored to be an intergalactic fraternity of sorts, its members engage in activities ranging from debating the best way to butter toast for maximum aerodynamic flight, to competitive duck knitting - a sport as riveting as it is nonsensical. Bill, allegedly, is the grand master of these curious contests, brandishing a spatula like a sword and a knitting needle like a wand.

Travel Advice

Getting to the Eltingville Club requires a sense of humor and the ability to recite the Galactic Anthem backwards while hopping on one foot; failing this, a good old-fashioned bribe of fish fingers and custard might suffice.

Where to Find

The Eltingville Club is located on the lesser-known moon of Thribble, which orbits a planet that only exists on every second Tuesday of the month. Look for a door marked 'Absolutely No Entrance, Especially for You'. That's the one.

What to Avoid

Avoid challenging Bill to a game of existential checkers; he always wins, leaving opponents questioning the very fabric of reality for days on end.

Fun Fact

The Eltingville Club is the only known entity in the universe to have successfully taxed a black hole, using such funds to subsidize the aforementioned duck knitting escapades.