Boltie, not to be confused with a minor but depressingly significant bolt in the Infinite Improbability Drive, is a rather spunky and somewhat questionably moral sidekick from the Earth movie 'Super'. She's a comic book store employee by day, and by self-proclamation, a superhero by whenever she fancies. Her costume is as loud as her enthusiasm, and her approach to crime fighting is as subtle as a sledgehammer at a tea party. Nevertheless, her endearing lack of superpowers is matched only by her boundless energy for justice—or anything resembling it, depending on the day.
Should you wish to meet a role model like Boltie, it is highly recommended that you first ensure you have a very broad definition of 'role model'. Wearing protective gear and keeping emergency medical services on speed dial would also be prudent.
To encounter Boltie, one must venture into the deepest, darkest corners of urban despair—or simply find the nearest comic book store during promotional events.
Avoid pointing out logical inconsistencies in her superhero strategy, such as the lack of actual supervillain presence. Also, do steer clear of her wrench—she's quite fond of it, and not in a way that bodes well for passersby.
Boltie once tried to trademark the phrase 'Holy Avenging Angel of Thwackage', but was thwarted by the Intergalactic Bureau of Verbiage, who deemed it too verbose for interstellar trademark law.
In need of a laughably less-lethal self-defense class? Try the 'Boltie Bounce-Back Beanbag Bonanza'—for when you want to fight crime and have a jolly good chuckle.
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The phpinfophptxt is a peculiar specimen of cosmic data confusion, often encountered by intergalactic webmasters when they inadvertently leave their digital offspring - a .php file - in a compromising position with a .txt file. The result is a Frankensteinian mashup that whimsically displays server secrets when it's not busy being an unreadable text blunder.
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