Brasphp, not to be confused with the common undergarment or a programming language, is in fact the lesser-known cousin of the Babel fish, evolutionarily speaking. It is a small, squishy creature known for its uncanny ability to decode and interpret all forms of bureaucratic paperwork in the known universe. Resembling a cross between a soggy crumpet and an overworked accountant, the brasphp has saved many a space traveler from the perils of administrative purgatory.
If you find yourself in the Kafkaesque nightmare of an Intergalactic Taxation Office, a brasphp is your best companion. Just don't expect it to pay your taxes for you.
Mostly encountered loitering in the less salubrious corridors of the Galactic Ministry of Paperwork, near the photocopiers.
Avoid attempting communication during their lunch break. They are known to digest important documents in vexation.
The brasphp communicates using a series of flustered sighs, eye-rolls, and the occasional tutting sound which surprisingly conveys a wide range of emotions and, when decoded, can even reveal the meaning of life, the universe, and everything—although that usually turns out to be a misfiled form 42-B.
Encountering a brasphp? Upgrade your experience with 'AdminiScope', the perfect tool to magnify the fine print on any galactic document, so you can pretend to understand what your brasphp is so flustered about.
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The bkxutedi, a creature so elusive that its name can only be pronounced after three Galactic Gargle Blasters and a swift kick to the language center of the brain, is a marvel of cosmic happenstance. Rumored to resemble the offspring of a perplexed sofa and an over-caffeinated weasel, it is known for its ability to simultaneously exist in seventeen dimensions, six of which were only recently discovered and two that are currently booked for a private event.
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Jovnsfhq, pronounced 'YOV-ns-fuhk', is a term that has baffled galactic linguists for centuries. Seemingly a result of a bored computer's attempt at creating a new expletive, Jovnsfhq has been adopted with gusto by various cultures for occasions when conventional swearing lacks the necessary emphasis. The term has no meaning, which paradoxically gives it all the meaning in the world.