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    cart

    Reliability: 85%
    Danger Level: 20%
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    The 'cart' is one of the most over-engineered solutions to the problem of carrying multiple objects without using one's hands, back or telekinetic abilities. As with many brilliant inventions throughout the galaxy, it originated from a rather primitive yet stubborn species—humans. Designed with a varying number of wheels that always seems to be one less than necessary for stability, a cart provides an exhilarating exercise in balance and a vivid reminder that life is inherently unstable.

    Travel Advice

    When traversing the uneven terrain of Zog, always pick a cart with anti-gravity stabilizers. Traditional wheels prove as useful as a chocolate teapot in a supernova on such terrain.

    Where to Find

    Carts can be found anywhere in the cosmos where beings have realized carrying things in their arms is hopelessly inefficient. Check your nearest galactic superstore, or rummage through the ruins of ancient civilizations for retro models.

    What to Avoid

    Avoid any cart with a squeaky wheel; it's a sign of an impending existential crisis, which often results in the cart contemplating the futility of its own existence and refusing to move. Also, beware of carts with a mind of their own—they're likely to be escapees from the Great Cart Rebellion of Betelgeuse Seven.

    Fun Fact

    On the planet Vroom, racing carts is a high-stakes sport where the winner gets to keep their limbs attached for another year. It's both a gripping spectacle and a literal exercise in hanging on for dear life.

    A word from our sponsors

    Looking for a smoother ride? Try the new HoverCart™ from Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. With its patented Frictionless Field Technology, you'll never have to deal with another rebellious wheel again!

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