closest towel

The 'closest towel' is not a geographic location but an existential state of being that many galactic hitchhikers aspire to achieve. A towel, as you should well know, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar traveller can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth, lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, and of course, dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. But its true value lies in the psychological comfort it provides, knowing that it is close at hand - or in this state, closest. This is a level of preparedness that is envied by many and achieved by few.

Travel Advice

Always know where your towel is. This is the best travel advice one could ever hope to give or receive in the vast and unforgiving cosmos.

Where to Find

The 'closest towel' is invariably found within arm's reach, ideally in the fourth dimension pocket of a seasoned hitchhiker's satchel or a quantum-state induced towel-rack available from any reputable intergalactic home store.

What to Avoid

Never let your towel out of sight at the communal washing facilities of Betelgeuse Five - towel-napping is a common and socially accepted misdemeanor there. Also, avoid using your towel as a flag of truce; the Vl'hurgs find it gravely offensive and have been known to declare war over less.

Fun Fact

The fabric of the space-time continuum is surprisingly similar to that of a well-worn terrycloth, leading some scientists to speculate that the universe is, in fact, an enormous cosmic towel left behind by a deity after a particularly splashy bath.