Dave Lister, frequently mistaken for a simple human, is in actuality the pinnacle of human evolution, or rather, the nadir, depending on how one views the consumption of vindaloo as a defining human characteristic. He is the last known human alive and an unintentional space explorer of the type who would, under normal circumstances, have difficulty navigating his way through a wet paper bag. Lister's unique attributes include a fantastic ability to play guitar badly, an undying love for a woman who exists in a photograph, and immunity to all known forms of future despair owing to a lifetime lived backwards.
To find Lister, one does not simply travel through space, but also centuries of poor lifestyle choices. If you must seek wisdom on how to perfect the art of slothfulness, he is your messiah.
Dave Lister can be found on the mining ship Red Dwarf, which doubles as an interstellar petri dish of existential loneliness and canned laughter. Alternatively, check the nearest bar, but only if curry is on the menu.
Do not, under any circumstances, lend him money, clothing, or your taste in music. Avoid his laundry basket at all costs, lest you encounter new life forms with dubious intentions.
Dave Lister once entered a parallel universe where he found himself to be pregnant, proving definitively that in space, no one can hear you scream...with confusion.
This entry was brought to you by 'Leviathan Lager' – because when you're three million years into deep space, it's always happy hour somewhere in the universe.
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