doily

The doily, not to be mistaken for a galactic snot rag, is quite possibly the most misunderstood piece of decorative fabric in the universe. These lacy, perplexing objects have confounded non-terrestrial beings for eons with their utter lack of purpose and inexplicable presence on human dining tables. Often confused with miniature, non-functional fishing nets and occasionally used by Earthling grandmothers to trap unsuspecting biscuits, the doily represents the pinnacle of pointless human ornamental extravagance.

Travel Advice

When traveling to Earth, it is customary to pretend to admire these curious lace items, lest you offend your host. Do not eat them, regardless of how the patterns may resemble your home planet's traditional snacks.

Where to Find

Doilies can frequently be spotted in the wild, draped over the armrests of sofas, lying in ambush under teacups, or in their natural habitat: the dusty corners of antique shops.

What to Avoid

Avoid using doilies as protective headgear during interstellar travel; their aerodynamic properties are, to put it mildly, lacking. Also, refrain from gifting them to Zaphod Beeblebrox; he's still confused from the last set he received.

Fun Fact

In the year 2458, the Great Doily Uprising saw a sentient doily named 'Lacey' become the Supreme Overlord of the Seven Sofa Systems for a brief, yet stylish, fortnight.