Dolphins, the second most intelligent creatures on Earth, after mice and before humans, have always been of particular interest to the intergalactic wanderer. Their sleek, aerodynamic bodies are perfectly designed for aquatic acrobatics and their sophisticated language is composed of clicks, whistles, and the occasional sarcastic remark. Earth's oceans are their playground, and they seem to spend a great deal of time playing complex pranks on humanity, which the latter species rarely appreciates or even recognizes. Dolphins have a complex social structure that makes Earth politics seem as sophisticated as a game of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' played by particularly dim-witted rocks.
Should you wish to communicate with these sagacious swimmers, bring along a fish or two as a conversational icebreaker. It's also considered polite to laugh at their jokes, even if you don't understand them.
To find dolphins, one must venture to the Hitchhiker's Sub-aquatic Lounge & Grill located in the lower eastern quadrant of the Galaxy. There, amidst the liquid hydrogen pools, a holographic Earth ocean complete with artificial dolphins awaits.
Avoid attempting to outsmart a dolphin; it's not only futile, but they're liable to surreptitiously sign you up for interpretive dance classes in your sleep as retribution.
Dolphins have been known to write poetry so convoluted that it makes Vogon verse seem like a charming haiku. They recite these poems at the annual 'Galactic Cetacean Poetry Slam' held in the Kuiper Belt.
Searching for the ultimate dolphin experience? Look no further than 'Flipper's Phantasmagorical Flip-Out', a zero-gravity water park where you can surf the cosmos with holographic dolphins!
about 23 hours ago
Port - not to be confused with the nautical term, nor the left-hand side of any given intergalactic star cruiser - is in fact a delightful, rich, often vintage, fortified liquid, typically discovered at the bottom of a glass. It is basically a grape-based spaceship fuel for humans, propelling conversations into the vast expanse of social space, occasionally crashing into awkward silences or black holes of over-indulgence.
1 day ago
Sitemapxml, known in less digital circles simply as 'sitemap.xml', is not a trendy nightclub for robots, nor is it a treasure map for internet pirates. Rather, it's the universe's way of telling search engines, 'Here's the party, and here's who's invited.' Every website has one - a list of URLs, like a cosmic roll call. It's both the maître d' at a posh restaurant and the bored intern ticking off names at a particularly dull intergalactic symposium.