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    donald trump

    Reliability: 73%
    Danger Level: 62%
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    Donald Trump, quite the anomaly in the fabric of space-time, is what Earthlings refer to as a 'politician', though many argue that term is applied loosely in this context. Noted for his unique cranial plumage, which some evolutionary biologists suspect is a symbiotic entity, and his uncanny ability to harness the Twitterverse before his exile from it. Trump is a complex cocktail of entrepreneur, reality television star, and the 45th President of the United States of America, possessing a penchant for the construction of walls, and the deconstruction of political norms.

    Travel Advice

    If encountering a wild Trump in the political landscape, maintain a safe distance and avoid feeding his ego, as this can lead to unpredictable behavior and rampant tweeting.

    Where to Find

    He can often be found on one of his numerous golf courses or at 'Mar-a-Lago', a resort where the rich and sunburned go to bask in their wealth and the Floridian sun.

    What to Avoid

    It's best to avoid discussions on climate change, election results, and facts in general. Such topics have been known to trigger a condition scientists term 'Fake News Syndrome'.

    Fun Fact

    Donald Trump is the first U.S. President to have a cameo in 'Home Alone 2: Lost in New York'. Some say his directions to a young Kevin McCallister were the most coherent of his entire presidency.

    A word from our sponsors

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