Elon Musk, not to be confused with the smell emitted by the male muskrat during mating season, is an actual human being - or so the legends say. He's one of those rare specimens who can simultaneously run multiple interstellar companies and still find time to tweet about the existential ennui of being a super-intelligent hairless ape. Responsible for sending cars into space because the M25 was just too conjested, and for digging tunnels because apparently, in the future, we all live like manic moles.
If you're keen on brushing shoulders with this entrepreneurial wunderkind, it's best to hover around any site scheduled for a rocket launch. Watch out for falling boosters though; they're known to be quite the party poopers.
You can locate this peculiar Earthling by tracking the faint scent of ambition and rocket fuel, usually in the vicinity of SpaceX launch pads or wherever the term 'innovation' is being shouted the loudest.
Avoid asking him for a small loan of a billion credits, challenging him to a Mars habitat building contest, or making eye contact with the Neuralink chip in his head.
It's rumored that Elon Musk's first words were not 'mama' or 'dada', but rather 'market cap', much to the confusion of his economically uninclined parents.
This entry is brought to you by the 'Falcon Heavy Duty Laundry Detergent' - for when your clothes have experienced more G-forces than a test pilot.
about 3 hours ago
Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
about 3 hours ago
Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.