Espphp, pronounced 'es-puh-hip,' is a little known but vastly important concept in the galaxy. It is the fundamental building block of bureaucratic inertia and is found in the paperwork of nearly every civil service from here to the Crab Nebula. Without espphp, it is believed that forms would be processed in a timely fashion and no one would ever have to queue for anything, which would be just unthinkably efficient.
If you're planning a trip to see espphp in action, make sure you're not in any particular hurry. Take a book or perhaps a small, portable hobby to pass the centuries.
Espphp can be best observed in its natural habitat at the Galactic Central Bureaucracy on Vogsphere, where the Vogons have turned the fine art of paperwork into something approaching a religious rite.
Avoid filling out any forms while observing espphp, or you may become part of the process. This is considered by most sentient beings to be a fate worse than listening to Vogon poetry, which is saying something.
Espphp is rumored to be the secret sauce behind the Improbability Drive's ability to turn bureaucratic red tape into a fleet of interstellar flamingos (on particularly improbable days, that is).
Seeking to experience inefficiency firsthand? Why not book a tour with 'Waiting in Line Galactic Excursions'? You'll never get to your destination, but you'll have plenty of time to contemplate the esoteric beauty of espphp!
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