Floppers, not to be confused with the Earth aquatic footwear known as flip-flops, are in fact one of the most confounding and yet underappreciated species in the known cosmos. They are small, squishy, and possess the uncanny ability to look perpetually surprised, a trait that has baffled evolutionary biologists and sitcom writers alike. Floppers communicate using a series of flops, which is rather like interpretative dance but without the existential dread and spandex. Their diet consists mainly of quantum strings, making them the only known creatures that can literally eat theoretical constructs.
If you find yourself in the vicinity of a flock of floppers, it is considered good manners to flop at least once in greeting. Failing to do so may result in social ostracism or, worst case, an earnest discussion about the meaning of life.
Floppers are indigenous to the gelatinous swamps of Squish Prime, a planet where the ground feels like stepping on a universe-sized custard tart, minus the delightful taste.
Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to use a flopper as a bath mat. This is both rude and impractical, as floppers are known to dissolve into existential angst when they get too soggy.
Floppers have the remarkable ability to reshape reality within a three-foot radius, a talent they typically use to make their surroundings slightly more comfortable – think perfectly fluffed pillows but for the fabric of space-time.
Feeling uninspired? Try the new Flopper’s Fluff – the ultimate pillow that adapts to your head’s thoughts, now with extra reality-altering comfort foam!
4 days ago
Superheroes, the universe's answer to the ever-present question, 'Who will save us now?' often dressed in spandex, which is a textile with the uncanny ability to simultaneously shrink-wrap one's dignity along with their body. These beings of immense power, questionable fashion choices, and often-complicated backstories, grace various galaxies with their antics of morality and muscle. They are known for their unique abilities, such as flying without the benefit of an Electronic Thumb, seeing through solid objects with less radiation than a microwave burrito, and lifting objects that would make a Vogon Constructor Fleet feel a bit inadequate.
5 days ago
Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.