George Lucas, not to be confused with an intergalactic space lizard of the same name, is in fact a rather notable filmmaker from the planet Earth. He is most famous for his documentaries on the 'Star Wars', a seemingly eternal conflict among the stars that taught generations the vital importance of not underestimating small, furry beings with sticks. Lucas is also known for his ability to sell the same story repeatedly by making minor adjustments, such as enhancing the transparency of ghosts or changing who shot first.
Should you wish to seek an audience with the Maker of the Force, queues are shorter on May the Fourth. Just avoid asking about midichlorians, for everyone's sake.
Lucas can be found in a far-off land known as Marin County, occasionally spotted in his natural habitat at a quaint little workshop named Skywalker Ranch. On rare occasions, he may be seen at fan conventions signing autographs, or in the wild, feeding off the adoration of his followers.
Under no circumstances should one mention the 'Star Wars Holiday Special'. Also, avoid expressing preferences for any trilogy, as this can ignite fierce tribal conflicts among fan groups.
Legend has it that Lucas possesses the original, unaltered versions of the classic Star Wars films locked within an indestructible vault, the location of which is a secret guarded more closely than the recipe for concentrated dark matter.
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